Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Oooo, Look At The Pretty Paints

I finally did it. I finally got my hourly-break-down calendar for the rest of the year. Ended up being one of those "academic calendars" so it goes from May through to August the following year. So it should hold me for quite a while.

Jotting down each main activity I do and roughly how long it took me is an awkward habit to try to build. I still have an hour or two each day this past week where I don't remember what I did since I forgot to write it down when I was done. Man, my memory is BAD. Either that, or my hour was filled with a whole bunch of little things - a phone call to a customer, looking something up, chit-chatting with my coworker, organizing my desk, etc - and I couldn't fathom after the fact that those little things all added up to an hour.

Either way, I have the majority of what I've been doing down for the week. There is both not much and a whole lot of wiggle room at work in regards to writing/reading time. I just feel guilty now if I'm not working round the clock. I'm coming up with projects that don't need to be done. Organizing things no one even thinks about. Creating databases no one asked for. Even my manager tells me to chill most days. When I was on commissions I was fine spending the day writing or reading. If there were no customers in the store it wasn't my fault I wasn't bringing in money. Read? Inventory fabric samples? It was all the same. I was either going to make minimum wage with my sales, or I was going to get paid out of draw.

Now that I'm hourly again, I feel guilty. They're paying me to help around the store. They're paying me to make things easier on the sales associates so they have an easier time closing sales. So if I'm reading instead of creating another database to simplify searches, then I feel guilty that I'm getting paid to sit around.

DARN YOU, WORK ETHIC!!!!

I blame my mom on that one....

So, yeah, definitely have more than enough time to read and write while at work, but now I feel guilty about it, so who knows if I'll do more than my half-hour lunch break?

Speaking of, I did start up a new book finally. I meant to do so shortly after finishing "Half Bad" in order to get a jump on next month, maybe even sneak two books in one month. Instead I went on a two-week hiatus from reading in an attempt to force myself to write instead of escape into a book. Clearly that didn't work.

Anyway, I'm now attempting my father-in-law's favorite book. He even lent me his "loan out" copy. Yes, he has multiple copies. I'm only about 20pages in, and I already had to stop, go back, and re-read some passages as I'm reading because of the flowery language. But at least I have the gist of the plot so far. I'm also a bit curious why every main character has to have his/her full name - first and last - written out each time. It's a bit unnecessary to me for "Eddie Willers" to be written out nearly every sentence instead of just "Eddie." Stranger still that there ARE a few sentences that just have "Eddie" instead of his full name. It's a weird ratio of three-pages where he's "Eddie Willers" then a paragraph where he's just "Eddie" and then another two-pages of "Eddie Willers" and then a full page of just "Eddie." I don't think Ayn Rand could make up her mind.

For those who might not know just based on my above paragraph, I'm now attempting "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand. I haven't been loving the classics such as "1984" or "Dante's The Inferno," and "Atlas Shrugged" seems to be in the same vein for my tastes, but I made it through the other two, so I'm going to make it through this one. The other two I at least enjoyed the overall concept and plot, even if I didn't enjoy the writing or connected with the characters. So, here's hoping I at least enjoy the overall plot of "Atlas Shrugged." If nothing else, it's another classic I can check off the list.

But back to my hourly calendar.

I do and don't have time at work, but I definitely have time after work. I've just been spending my four hours doing a completely different hobby. I'm kind of proud of it, and it is soothing - same concept as adult coloring books - but it still isn't writing.

As I mentioned last week, Hubby and I have a game where miniatures could be painted to give them character and help distinguish between them. Well, last Wednesday Hubby was taught the basic techniques to painting minis. Ours are - as I expected them to be - a bit flat compared to the professionally painted ones I posted last week, mostly because we weren't shown yet how to do highlights and shadows on our minis. The closest thing we have is a paint that sort of does the shading for you as you coat the whole mini.

Anyway, Wednesday through Saturday I spent probably about four hours a night painting a starter squad from the core game in an attempt to get decent enough with the hobby to feel confident in painting my main clan.

The results aren't the prettiest, but they're still not bad either:
Just a reminder of what they look like unpainted.
I decided to start with the core-game's blue clan
They still need some touching up, but they're mostly done now.
This is the clan mystic: a madoushi
Clan fighters: kaiken
Archers, also known as yajiri
Specialized female ninjas: kunoichi
And finally the unit leader: the chunin
Like I said, not as polished and defined as the professional ones, but that's why they're the professionals. Painting minis is not easy. It is fun and relaxing, but it's not easy. Plus, I tend to overdo the paint which is why mine is a bit gloppy, especially with the skin tones....

Now, I could spend this week painting another starter clan to try to hone my technique, or I could write. I'm not going to lie that part of me wants to paint.

But I am starting to miss writing. I'm climbing back out of my slump, I guess, because before I was kind of "eh, I'm not writing, whatever" but now I'm back to feeling a bit guilty about it.

There are a lot of things, such as painting minis, where I'm decent at it. I'm passable. I'm not terrible. I may even be a touch better than your average novice. Crocheting is another crafting hobby where I'm mediocre. Video games, or all games in general, actually, are also fun, but I'm not exactly "great" at them. Even tedious things like creating spreadsheets for data entry. Yeah, I can get the job done and it works for people, but there's probably tricks to doing it easier or faster than I do it.

Everything I do, I'm kind of riding that mediocre middle-road. I'm not great. I'm not bad. I'm decent, or perhaps slightly above average, but nothing to make people "wow" over.

Everything I do, except writing, that is.

That is where my talent is. That is where people "wow" about me. That is where people ask for more. That is what people ask me for advice about. That is where I'm most comfortable in my talents.

SO WHY THE HECK DO I KEEP AVOIDING IT!?

I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that I have immensely loyal fans, but they number in the tens instead of the hundreds. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that if I give myself wholly to writing, find a project and stick with it, I might still come out not being published until I'm in my 60s, and I don't know if I can handle that.

I wanted to be married by the time I was 25. Kept me an extra three years.
I wanted to be in a career either within writing or video production. I managed that, but it only lasted three years and I haven't found that career path again since.
I wanted to have my own place instead of still renting by the time Hubby and I have been married 5 years. That came and went and we're still in the same apartment.
I wanted to be a mom by the time I was 30, and that clearly didn't happen. Still hasn't.
I wanted to be a published author - or a screenwriter with a movie in production - by the time I was 35, and that's not really shaping up to be a realistic goal either. Even pushing it back to 40 seems out-of-reach, and I don't know if I could handle another major life-goal milestone coming and going without being reached.

So, maybe that's it. Maybe I'm keeping my writing simply as a hobby out of fear. Maybe I'm avoiding it as a subtle white flag that I submit that it's never going to happen.

But, how COULD it happen if I don't even try!?

GAAAAH! It's so annoying to know in my head that I'm good. Know in my head that I HAVE to keep trying otherwise there's no hope in hitting my goal. Know in my head that I WILL be rejected, but that doesn't mean I won't find the right book/agent/publisher/audience combination eventually. Know in my head that even if it does take me until I'm 50 or 60 to be published that a lot of great authors had a late start.

It's so hard to KNOW all of this, and yet have my heart still not completely in it. My heart is still going "ooo, shiny" with story ideas so that I never fully commit to one. My heart is still thinking "if I don't actually try, then I never actually fail." My heart is still nervous that I'm only good within my small community - high school, college, local library - but not good enough on the grand scale of the world or even my country - as "evidenced" by my low readership on DeviantArt, FictionPress, and FanFiction.

How to combat this? How to shut off that critic that's becoming more and more vocal? How to let my head take control again?

I have to work through this. I have to figure it out. I have to toughen through it.

I have to also find my writing journals.....

Sadly, I did a lot of shuffling things around the past week or so, and I'm not entirely sure where I put my writing journal. So I don't have a "new" writing practice for you to read today. I'll post two for next week to make up for it.

In the meantime, if anyone has any advice, I'm all ears.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

I Hate Creative Permanence

Another dead week. I don't know what's up with me. I've been fixated on Hubby's latest tabletop game, actually. Between that and working six days a week, I've just been too drained to think of anything creatively.

About a month ago Hubby bought the game Ninja All-Stars by Ninja Division/Soda Pop Miniatures. If you play a league within the game, then you get x-number of starter points that you use to "purchase" ninja units for your clan. There are six clans to choose from, and each one has their own allotment of minimum and maximum of any particular unit in order for you to customize your clan. Then, as you play each game, your units earn experience that you can use to purchase upgrades for them, making them even more customizable to your game play.

As of right now, including me and Hubby, we have five people playing this game. So we each have our own clan out of the six available. Hubby then went ahead and bought the unique miniatures designed for each clan. I have the wind bird tribe Clan Tanchyo.

The reason I'm obsessing, though, is that the minis come unpainted as one solid color to represent your clan. For me, that's green:
I couldn't find my camera, so I just swiped this photo from a review site.
Normally I would just go with it, but I need to differentiate between like-troops, such as the two crow-men Madoushis - monks - that are shown to the right. Or the two eagle onis - demons - towards the back. For troops like those, I've been adding a paperclip to one to tell the difference between the like-units. However, my clan also allows four yajiri - archers - and I can't really tell the difference between them with just paperclips. For the time being, I'm also using figures from the core game.
Again, can't find my camera. This one is from the game developers themselves.
Normally I use the Void Shrine, because the friend who has the actual minis for the Void clan Ijin doesn't really use archers. I then put a paperclip on one of them, and I can tell the difference: one green with paperclip, one green without, one purple with, and one purple without.

The solution works for now, but I know eventually I will have to just paint the darn things in order to help me figure out who is who. It's exciting, but also very permanent. I'm not good with permanent. It's why I bought three scrapbooks while in high school and never used any of them - this was back when you could only get one, maybe two, copies of a photo and that's it unless you could remember where you put the negatives. Permanence is also why I have a bookshelf filled with blank journals. I love them. I collect them. I almost never write in them though, because that's it. You can't use that journal for anything else than what you started to write in it. I have two different "diaries" in really nice journals, only for me to get bored with journaling and giving up about 20pgs in. I also photocopy my coloring book pages so that I can recolor them however I want.

I don't do well with creative permanence.....

Plus, I've never painted miniatures before, and I'm nervous that they'll end up beyond ugly. They're cheap compared to a lot of other miniature games, such as Warhammer, Warmachine, or old-school D&D before they came pre-painted. However, I still don't want to have to go out and buy a new clan set if I really mess up this one....

I want them looking nice like these professional ones:
Ignore that the woman with the peacock feathers in her hair - the Chunin, or clan leader - looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid.
I know I'm not going to get them this nice, though. Hence the point of professional miniature painters in the first place. My main concern is that I SUCK at shading, and that's what really makes these pop. Still, I'm trying to prepare myself for this undertaking by looking up what colors I want for each of my units.

We all unofficially decided to name our characters after anime/video game characters. I branched out a little by naming my one Madoushi Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and my one Oni Hugin from Stjepan Sejic's "Death Vigil":
For those who don't know, Hugin can transform into an albino T-Rex....
Anyway, my point being that I've been looking up the color schemes for the anime/video game characters I named my minis off of, so that I know how to color them so they're still obviously Green Tanchyo Tribe while also being distinguishable from each other.

This is pretty much how I've been spending my spare time this past week. Obsessing over colors for minis and learning how to properly paint them, as well as researching the best bang for my buck in regards to buying the paints. Trying to mentally master the art of painting minis has been my everything outside of work this week.

Kind of pathetic.

And at work, now that I'm hourly instead of commissions, I feel guilty if I'm not working around the clock. So I've been coming up with all sorts of busy work for myself. I barely have time to sit down anymore.

I need to get out of my head. Or, if I really can't get out of my own head, I should at least talk to one of my characters hiding up there. Get back to writing. I don't know why I'm at a complete stand-still lately.

While I'm still trying to figure out what is up with my lack of muse, you can at least enjoy another old writing practice. This one choked me up bad. One of the few times I had a hard time seeing what I was writing because I was fighting back tears. I hit a sore spot with this. Tried to get some pre-mature closure, I guess. I get emotional in my writing, but it's rare that I actually inflict an emotion on myself this severely while writing, so this practice scared me in more ways than one. I hope the emotions at least showed up in this 1000-word short.

"Find. Remember. Love Again."

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Reading Queen

I wrote something on Thursday.

That's it. No other writing. Not even really pondering of writing. Yet, for some reason, while sitting outside on the porch, listening to the wind chimes Hubby got me, I was inspired. I wrote another writing prompt out of "A Writer's Book of Days" until my wrist hurt and my fingers cramped up. Kept me only about forty minutes and three journal pages.

Still, it was something. I should praise that for all its worth. Especially considering how long this slump has been. I don't know what caused my love of writing to recede, but I still don't even have the drive to think about writing. I don't get my normal pain of guilt or itch of inactivity if I go without writing. On the plus side, I also haven't gotten cranky and agitated due to my lack of writing. I'd much rather sit on my porch, people watch, read my book, listen to my chimes, and enjoy the warmth. I'm just soaking it all in. Maybe I'll wring it all out of my head later, but right now, my brain is just sponging everything; hopefully.

In the meantime, Hubby did sort of decide on a new surname for Chayse. He narrowed it down to five names. He also feels that Neo-Gambit - Ryder - won't go by a last name. He'll simply be Ryder. Considering the fact that I kept Gambit's criminal background, I could see Ryder dropping his last name to avoid being tracked. So, Hubby's thinking that the couple just agreed to give Chayse his mother's surname. Right now we're really focused on Foster. However, even though Emily Foster sounds awesome and is really calling out to us, I feel it's a bit too on the money. A woman named Foster opened an orphanage?

Then again, names have meaning in literature, so maybe the nod to the connection between the name and the calling isn't so bad?

Anyway, that's the extent of my writing this week. I did read Hello to my writing group last week. Fantasy is definitely my wheel-house, because even my psuedo-supernatural, slice-of-life, slightly-exaggerated anecdote got sort of lack-luster reviews aside from "nice twist at the end." And then we talked about the paranormal for a little bit before moving on to the next person.

I never seem to get much of a reaction out of that group unless I'm writing something set in a fantasy world. Although, oddly enough, about six months ago they asked me why I only wrote fantasy and fanfiction when I could "write like that" - in reference to my heartbreaking story of a man realizing his ailing wife was slipping from him.

On the flipside of my frozen state, it seems Ronoxym is on a writing frenzy. Nearly every time I talk to him he has something new he's working on. Granted, he only gets a couple paragraphs to a couple pages in before the next shiny story idea catches his attention, but at least he's writing. More than what I'm doing. Maybe we share a Muse, which is why we work so well together. However, sharing her means that only one of us could be in the mood to write at a time. Lame.

Anyway, he even asked if I was still into reworking/finishing Please, Let Me Explain. I was kind of like "doi" so maybe that means he's going back through my edits to try to figure the rework out too. It would be cool if I could continue reading that at group.

In the meantime, I have my writing practices. And since the next two practices I have combined are still less than 1000 words, I figured I would type them both up for your reading pleasure.

This first one is largely inspired by a friend and former coworker of mine. I took some creative liberties to follow where the character was taking me, but my friend is definitely the core inspiration.

"Fire Personified"

This second one is beyond quick: about 250 words. I was stuck on another writing prompt that is a really cool phrase, but too abstract for me to come up with a story concept. I might have this issue a lot with Judy Reeves' prompts. In the end, I just wrote whatever came to mind until I had filled the page. It's more of a thought experiment than an actual tale, but it's something down on paper.

"Thought Experiment: Now"
On DeviantArt           On FictionPress

So, if I wasn't writing, what was I doing for the majority of the week? Well, as I mentioned, I've been on my porch enjoying the weather. I've also been reading like a boss. Appropriate, considering the reading challenge I'm currently undertaking.

"Half Bad" by Sally Green was definitely a slow go for me. The fact that the entire story was broken down into six parts was the first oddity. They aren't even parts. They don't seem to coincide with the typical Three-Act storyline. They were basically six giant chapters that were then broken down into smaller chapters. And the fact that some of those chapters weren't even a page long was the other oddity that threw me off. The final thing that made me wonder if I could make it through was her use of second-person narrative to make the reader Nathan. There were just too many things that seemed different about this story. Makes Green a unique author, though.

Well, I powered through because the synopsis was intriguing enough. Plus, I don't like quitting on books. I'm glad, too. Part Two is about a third of the book, and it's all Nathan's flashback on how he ended up in a cage. It's also, thankfully, in first person. I was able to really connect with Nathan then. Again, my empathy allows me to connect more with a character when THEY are telling me their story, as opposed to the reader trying to tell me this is my story.

The first chapter - and ONLY the first chapter - of Part Three was back in second, and I groaned. I didn't know if I could handle the past being in first person and the present in second. I wasn't sure I could handle jumping back and forth between "you are Nathan" and "Nathan is telling you his story." Thankfully, since that one last chapter, the rest of the story is both first-person, and present. I mean that literally, it's written in present tense. It's also written in sort of short, choppy sentences: "I don't sleep well. It's not cold. There's no wind, not a breath. The clouds are still. There's no rain."

Nathan admits that he's not intelligent at all, and he's illiterate. So his sentences are simplistic. Life is what it is. He realizes that - for the most part - he has to live in the present. He can't dwell on the past because he can't change it. He can't focus too much on the future, because he might not have one. Sally Green takes that character trait and translates it to how Nathan talks. How he tells his story. He's direct. He's to the point. He doesn't have much time to explain something with long, flowery words. He tells you what's happening while it still is.

I really, REALLY got into this story once I was in first-person narrative. A week into reading this story, and I only have 41 pages left to go. If I didn't have chores and errands to do last night, I might have finished off the book. I'm basically reading a part a day, a few chapters at a time.

When I read the first part I wondered how the heck could anyone read two more books written like this. Now that I'm almost done, I know I have to find the other two. The writing is still odd to me, but now I'm invested in Nathan. I'm even invested in his jailer. I'm loving the wizarding world that Green created. It doesn't hurt that I could try to use some of it to help me get re-inspired for "Glitches" purposes.

In fact, sorry guys, but I gotta jet. I have a couple more chapters left. I need to finish them. Then I need to find another story to finish June with. Since I have such a head-start, I think I might pick up "Atlas Shrugged" next. I think that will be my "outside comfort level" book.... Still not sure where to put "Half Bad"on the list, though....

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Did A Lot Of Thinking; That Counts, Right?

To start, sorry about the late post update. I got caught up on editing and lost track of time. I mean, on the plus side, it means that I have more for you fine folks to read. On the downside, aside from a late blog post, I'm still just editing stuff I wrote back in like March and April. I'll get to that though.

Let's start on that high note: two new stories for you to read. First up is that Lia story I was having issues with last week. Ended up being delayed for no reason. A whole week later and I still don't have the names figured out and updated, so aside from some minor sentence structure editing, this is exactly the same as it was last week. Whoops. Hubby and I are trying to brainstorm, though, and I did spend all week TRYING to come up with new names for everyone. So there's that. Don't know if it counts if I didn't succeed though. Either way, here's Lia's story. First thing starring her that I've written in about a year. Geez. Poor thing.

"Weirdo Among Misfits"
On DeviantArt           On FictionPress           On FanFiction too!

Next story probably isn't too much of a surprise coming off the heels of a Lia story: a Willow and Devon story. I mean, I was in an X-Future mood the day before, it just seems natural that it would continue into the next practice. Especially with the prompt: "Write about a sideways glance."

"Mutual Teasing"
On DeviantArt           On FictionPress           On FanFiction too!

I was nervous about that second story. In the past I've been a bit off when writing friends' original characters. And odd thing to admit when I'm a fanfiction writer, but I'd always be close yet still not quite right. I sent Ronoxym "Mutual Teasing" this morning to quickly read over, and I'm so excited by his response.

Ronoxym: "That was actually beautiful. It's nice to just look at the two of them and think about what might have been."

He went on to let me know that Devon was in-character. So... Yay! I win!


Now, if I could just win again by actually having something NEW written, not just polished before being upload to a few websites.

Anyway, as I mentioned, ironically after stating that I was going to take a mini-vacay from writing, I spent a great deal of last Tuesday trying to figure out the new names for everyone. I then realized that I never really rewrote Jamie Madrox to his Glitches version Cody. I put in a great deal of time trying to figure out how his powers worked, but nothing really on Cody himself. Even then, I didn't really solidify what I wanted to do with his powers. The simple way of explaining is that he can use fresh drops of his own blood to create temporary clones of himself. However, there has been a sort of head-canon about Lia that I wanted to bring to Glitches, and I don't know if Cody's way of duplicating himself would lead to that.

See, when I created Lia and luck of the dice decided that she was going to have the same exact powers as her mother, but none of her father's, I then unintentionally designed Lia so she looks like the spitting image of her mother. It happens. Some kids just pick up a lot of their looks from one parent, and barely any distinguishable traits from the other. However, the more I thought about it, the more appropriate it seemed. Jamie's mutation is the ability to duplicate himself. That's in his DNA. DNA he was now sharing with his daughter. The way that happens is that his DNA is mixed with Amara's. So.... why not having Lia accidentally be a clone of her mother? Birthed naturally? Jamie's DNA mixes with Amara and, instead of duplicating himself, Jamie's mutation actually duplicates Amara. Jamie's body doesn't recognize it as a duplicate since Lia has Amara's DNA, not Jamie's so he doesn't re-absorb her like his other dupes. Amara's body doesn't have the mutation that would have her re-absorb her duplicate. Er go, no one realizes the natural cloning.

I personally think it's a neat bit of trivia, however, if Cody's powers requires him to use blood to duplicate, can it still work? Could his mutation still mix with Keahi's DNA upon conception of Lia? Could maybe that mutation use Keahi's blood via the umbilical cord/placenta to accidentally turn her freshly fertilized egg into a naturally growing clone?

Fun thought exercise, but it brings me back to the same issue: I'm too focused on Cody's powers and not enough on his actual character. I also still need to figure out Neo-Mystique for Devon's mother. She most likely won't come up until much, much, MUCH later in the series, but basic information about her might pop up in the meantime.

So, that's what I've been doing this week. No writing, but a lot of thought exercises to try to figure out and lock down the last of the Marvel-property rewrites into originals. While I'm at it, I realized that a lot of Lucas Kinney that made him who he is consists of elements I'm not bringing over to "Glitches": a naturally conceived/born child of a clone, time travel, knowing how he's going to die thanks to the time travel, his toughening as a youth plus his establishing the institute as his home thanks to multiple organizations wanting to capture and experiment on him, and the fact that he's pseudo-related to Wolverine as the man's artificial grandson. I tried to fix some of it by having my version of Wolverine rescuing Lucas from government-sanctioned experimentation, and then being a surrogate father. Still, there was just too much characterization I couldn't bring over. So, I might do with Lucas Kinney what I did with Marvel's intellectual property: use it as a base as I create my own version. 

As much as it pains me to do so, because the catalyst for wanting to write "Glitches" in the first place was to revive him, but I might have to do the same with Phfylburt's other character Lincoln as well. Part of his confusion and feeling lost is because he was part mutant, part Inhuman, and part fairy. He didn't know what race he was because he was a mix of non-human races raised by humans. On top of that, he had a disembodied voice constantly with him that only he could hear, and yet the voice was adamant that it wasn't a split personality or Lincoln's imagination. Darwin was positive that he had a separate soul and was somehow locked within Lincoln's body, even if neither of them knew how or when that happened.

Lincoln is just such a beautiful character with such depth and complexity. It's no wonder I mourned for so long after Phfyl killed him off. I can only hope for readers to be as connected to my stories. Even so, things like mythical creatures being real and a race of half-human/half-alien hybrids is getting too close to the Marvel realm again for my comfort. "Glitches" is going to be INSPIRED by Marvel's X-Men, not a complete rip-off of it. So, how do I tweak Lincoln to ignore the Inhuman and fairy sides of him? How do I explain his confusion when he discovered that his powers and mutation wasn't simply because he was Inhuman, it was because he's also part mutant and part fairy? How do I explain his irregular upbringing due to his father being the mute leader of the Inhumans; a man forced to have multiple wives so that each of the different subraces of Inhumans felt properly represented within the royal family?

Even if I could figure any of that stuff out, I haven't spoken to Phfyl in over a year after he slipped off the grid. I wouldn't feel right unless I went over the changes to Lincoln with him. As it is, redesigning Lincoln - but keeping his wings, his anxiety, and Darwin - still feels a bit too close to comfort for me. I know that if one of my friends took Willow, Lia, Trish, Jolene, or Amara, tweaked them so they were slightly different than they are now, but kept them mostly whole, I'd feel weird if I didn't OK it. There's a reason why authors tend to hate the movie/TV show adaptations of their characters unless the author had a hand in the change. These are our babies. If you change one thing about them, it's no longer them.

This is why I'm so nervous about keeping people in-character. If I even had one glance, one gesture, one bit of dialogue, even one word wrong and out-of-character then it shakes the foundation of the character for the creator.

I have time to figure out the Lincoln situation though, so I have some more brain exercises to do. Perhaps when I'm closer to being ready to roll Neo-Lincoln out I'll get back in touch with Phfyl.

OK. Enough X-Future/Glitches stuff. You pretty much have the idea of what I was doing this week in regards to that. However, since I really DIDN'T do any writing this week, I decided to use my break to finish my reading.

I didn't manage to complete "The Dark Prophecy" by Rick Riordan before the end of May, but I did complete it on Sunday, so I guess that's something. Only three days late. I also started up my June book already. It can either bump "Ready. Set. Novel!" off the "Red on the Cover" category, or it can fulfill the "Takes place in the UK" category. But first, let's check out my challenge thus far:
Challenge by Reading Books Like a Boss
OK, so, real quick before talking about my latest book read, a reflection on "The Dark Prophecy." All-in-all, I am enjoying the book series, but it's closer to "The Kane Chronicles" than Riordan's other works in regard to over-all enjoyment.

He did so well with the Percy Jackson series, and Heroes of Olympus. He's doing amazing with the Magnus Chase series. I don't know why he seemed off his game with the Kane Chronicles or Trials of Apollo. I think it's kind of the same issue though.

In The Kane Chronicles, you have Sadie and Carter Kane. They are practically polar opposites of each other despite being siblings. Sadie is arrogant, but has some redeeming qualities. However her magical prowess makes her seem a bit overpowered despite Riordan's attempt to explain the restrictions Sadie has on her magical reserves. Then there's Carter who can have random bursts of power but mostly tries to use his brain to strategize ways to conquer their problem. While I liked Carter more than Sadie, and they are both fully developed characters, for me, Carter seemed a bit underwhelming. I mean, these two didn't really leave much of an impact on me. I had to look up their names to make sure I remembered them correctly. When I put the book down, I could go days without going back to the story, and when I did I'd have to start the reading session by re-reading the last page or so of the previous chapter to remind myself where I stopped. I could barely put down any of the other book series Riordan wrote....

Then there's the Trials of Apollo. Apollo basically is Sadie's arrogance in Carter's lackluster build. Apollo was transformed into a hero, so he can't really do much of anything unless he has random blasts of godly power, so he mostly whines about how things were when he was still a god, pine over his multitude of lost loves, and strategize to try to find a non-combative way to solve problems. Then there's Apollo's companion and human master during his trials to regain his godhood: Meg. Meg is Carter's soft-spoken, near-forgetability wrapped in Sadie's near deus ex machina power set. Somehow these characters are likable, but I'm not passionate about them like I am with all of Riordan's other characters.

Heck, half the time I like Magnus Chase's sword Jack more than Apollo and Meg. This breed of hero just doesn't work for me, but that's not to say they aren't lovable to others. Like I said, they are well-rounded, and Apollo is redeeming his arrogant ways as he quickly realizes how hard it is to be a human, let alone a demigod.

Still, I liked the Egyptian gods Anubis, Bast, and Bes far more than I like Sadie and Carter. I liked the Karpoi Peaches more than Apollo and Peaches' owner Meg. I couldn't really see much difference between Josephine and Emmie in "The Dark Prophecy," and had to frequently go back and re-read to figure out who said what and who was where, because the women blended together for me.

The biggest disappointment for me? Leo. He was totally my boy in the Heroes of Olympus, and even after my week of feeling gross ended I still felt like Leo wasn't "himself" anymore. It was like someone was ghostwriting Leo for Riordan, and didn't quite hit the mark. As I mentioned above, the slightest change to a character can completely change the character, which is why I'm so nervous about Lincoln.

I don't want to discourage anyone, though. Like I said, some characters speak to me because of my own personality and upbringing, and others just don't click. It's the same to other readers as well. I might find Meg lackluster, while you might find her the most beautifully written character with a quiet strength holding her up against an emotional trauma that would normally crumble other 12yr olds. On the flipside, you might find Jack the sword from the Magnus Chase series an unnecessary and annoying plot device.

Now, as for my new book for June, well? I'm not sure about it yet. The dust jacket makes the story sound promising, which is why I picked it up in the first place, but then I started reading it.....

"Half Bad" by Sally Green is the first of a trilogy; very first novel that Green ever wrote. You can read the jacket copy on the linked site, but the overview of even that is that Nathan is a witch trying to find his father, but his father is dangerous and Nathan is caged and watched. Like I said, the concept seems so cool.

Still not sure about the actual writing of it though. Each chapter is short. Super short. Like a scene. The very first chapter barely fills a page, the second is only three paragraphs. The thing that threw me off the most though was that the entire book is in second person. An odd choice that brought Green lots of praise for her skilled use of it.

It's too odd for me, though. It's weird, having everything make ME the main character - the point of the "you" pronoun in second-person - is actually disconnecting me from the book. I'm not Nathan. It's hard for me to suspend disbelief far enough to get past the fact that I'm not Nathan. However, if the book was in first person or even third, my extreme empathy would let me connect with Nathan so much easier.

I'm an odd duck.

Four chapters in, sixteen pages, nearly done with the first part out of a six-part novel, and Nathan's hand was nearly burned off by acid. You'd think that would be enough of a hook. Yet, I'm like "alright, well, let's see this through...." I'll keep you posted on my progress. I'm hoping I can get over the weird narrative POV, because the story, if it were in a more traditional 1st or 3rd person, would have gripped me hard by now.

OK, well, it's now WELL past when I would normally post my blog update, so I should probably start prepping for writing group now. Save something to say for next week.